It Was a Dark and Stormy Night….

 Once upon a time, there was a teen girl who had no idea what to blog about.

 Her name was Aloha. Well, no, it wasn’t, but that’s what everyone called her.

She sat, typing frantically, mesmerized by the pale light of the laptop LED screen. A glass of iced tea sat, untouched, on the table next to her, and the Christina Perri blaring from the speakers of the laptop overshadowed her thought process with lyrics. Aloha’s foot started to go numb, toes spazzing out inside her socks, so she shook her left foot until she could feel it again. She scratched her ear because it itched.

 Suddenly she had the sinking feeling that when the ‘100 Topics to Blog About’ webpage said to write about not thinking of anything to write, it hadn’t meant it like this. That this was probably a fail. Not even epic. Far from epic.

 Her foot started to fall asleep again. Her Chocolate Lab rubbed up against her leg, begging for attention with his warm and ageless dark brown eyes. She rubbed his head and searched ‘Red–Already Over’ on Youtube for some variety. Still no blog topics came to mind.

 “You never go, you’re always here suffacating me, under my skin, I cannot breathe, fading sloowwwlyyy…”

 She sang along, surely annoying the heck out of everyone else in the house. No new posts on NaNo, Aloha sighed, refreshing the other tab again. It was six minutes to nine and she hadn’t eaten dinner. She was just starting to get hungry.

Another night of cereal for dinner? French-toast-sticks fresh from the Walmart frozen section and the microwave? A veggie burger? Aloha shrugged inwardly. It didn’t really matter. Food was food; it was just nutrition.

 That made her recall one of her favorite verses, Luke 12: 22-23. ” 22Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.”

 Still, it wouldn’t hurt to eat something. Aloha set down the laptop and set off on an epic mission to find edible food. She figured the most logical place to begin the mission was about twenty feet away, in the kitchen. She didn’t even need MapQuest. Score.

*seven minutes later*

 Aloha returned with a microwavable meal, potentially lethal, and a Doctor Pepper, also potentially lethal.

Aloha liked to think of everything as potentially lethal. It makes eating and exciting experience. Once, at Bushart Gardens in Canada, she ordered the Gunpowder Green Tea just because of the name. ‘Cause it was totally epic. Later she found out that ‘Gunpowder’ is a type of tea. Seriously?! Who finds a rare and exotic tea leaf, sips it casually, then muses, “I think I’ll call this herbal tea the Gunpowder mix. Delightful. Tally-ho, pesants.”

 Well, the ‘tally-ho, pesants’ part sounded really cool. Aloha’s going to have to start using that more often.

But, anyway.

 Aloha eats her delightful microwavable meal–some pasta with this good pesto sauce stuff and a bunch of radiation-charged vegetables (heck, sounds a lot better than with some peas and peppers thrown in) and wonders why the sky is blue.

No, she already knows that one. Something about radiation or UV rays or pollution or something. Eh. She heard it in Science class once.

 Instead, Aloha decides to search for new vocabulary words. Which most teens would search for new words to use in their everyday swearing, Aloha enjoys just knowing things. So she looks up ‘cachinnate’, ‘bilocation’, ‘lupine’ (although she already knew that, from Maximum Ride), and ‘editic’. Bonus llamas if you look those up yourselves. Always work to expand your vocab XD

 Aloha burned herself on a piece of pasta, inhaled her Doctor Pepper, laughed at her title which ended up having nothing to do with the post (although it was dark outside… and there was a little rain this afternoon, but still….).

 She figured this third-person rant about having nothing to rant about has gone on long enough. So she signs off with a quick ‘tally-ho, pesants!’ and a wave.

Tally-ho, pesants. *wave*

About Aloha

A teen writer and future world ruler. Llamas make me happy.
This entry was posted in Llamas and Rambling. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to It Was a Dark and Stormy Night….

  1. Dagger Tribal says:

    Tally ho, o supreme dooming ruler. GOODNIGHT.

  2. faiththegeek says:

    BAHAHA!!! Hilarious. Well written also.

  3. Nia (writemyworld) says:


    *Salutes even though that has nothing to do with anything*

  4. Bush says:

    You’re a total crackup, Aloha! And my foot goes to sleep allll the time! 😀 😀

  5. invadermyna says:

    Mmmm. I want some of that tea now. It sounds… explosively good. *shot for lame pun*

  6. Titania_Silk says:

    You’ve read Mximum Ride?! You just broke my chart of epic awesomesauceness. I’m going to have to create a new chart, just for you. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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