Yes, my fair pesants, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. The grand unveiling of my LEPrecon-filled weekend. The Artemis Fowl Rocks tour. Heck yeah. [If you haven’t read the Atlantis Complex, the title won’t make any sense. Don’t worry, it’s not really that much of a spoiler or anything. Just something that amuses me in my own little spazzy mind. Consider yourself spazzed.]
So, anyway, Sunday was. The. Best. Day. Ever. Just sayin’. You probably could have garnered that from just looking at my username (AlohaFowl) and the event (Artemis Rocks Eoin Colfer Book-signing), but in case you’re a total spazz (like me) and miss things like that, um, yeah. Best. Day. Ever. Ahem.
7:30 am– Woke up. This was not as pleasant as usual (which is NEVER pleasant), but it was especially nonpleasant considering I had been up until two watching YouTube videos. Darn you, Kristina Horner. Depriving innocent ALLCAPS fans of their sleep. That should be illegal.
8:00 am– Ate waffles. Put chocolate fudge and whipped cream on mine ’till I almost threw up. Heck, this is my birthday party, right? Let me have my Heart Attack On A Plate waffle breakfast experience. Or something. It was good. Don’t judge me.
Oh, and Redwingwriter21 had slept over (enter in the CONFUSING movies and moms-in-shape training vids), so it was pretty epic. The whole previous night, I mean.
But you guys don’t want to hear about my birthday party. 😉 You want to hear about ARTEMIS.
I shall grant you that wish. *skips the hours in which they went to church, ate at Sonic, and drove a lonnggggg waaaaaaay to get to the placer thinger-majigger where EOIN COLFER was going to be*
2:00 pm– Finally got there. We were an hour early [it didn’t start ’till four], so we just walked around a bit and stuff. I’d finished Red’s copy of the Atlantis Complex (THANKYOUTHANKYOU) in the car, and I was all giggly going, “I’m breathing the same air as Eoin Colfer!!” and such.
Seriously. I was breathing the same air as Eoin Colfer. ❤
2:20 pm–Went back to the book-signing spot and they were finally ready for us. Mom and Dad bought me my own copy of the Atlantis Complex and the first graphic novel. We got our tickets.
2:25–3:40 pm– We had to wait in LINE. THIS LONG. And it was sooooo hot. So hot. Like, you’d think I’d be used to the heat by now, but it was 109* and the lobby for some reason didn’t have air conditioning. Which is just STUPID. But I digress. I read the graphic novel and Red read (haha) the 7th book, and we just waited, but we were sweating and it was a 45-minute wait. Anxious butterflies. In a good way. At almost a quarter after four, they finally let us in. We found seats in the fourth row–me, Red, Mom, and Dad. I’d read all the books, Red had read all except the Atlantis Complex, Mom had read the first one, and Dad hadn’t read anything. Ha, it kinda went in order.
3:50 pm– So we waited, talked anxiously, took pics by the Artemis Rocks! sign on the stage, read, joked, grinned nervously at other anxious but excited kids. I’d say there were about one or two hundred people there.
4:10 pm– Eoin Colfer ❤ ❤ comes out onstage and does his comedy act. We’re all laughing so hard. This guy is hilarious. Even though I’ve already heard half the jokes and stories from his podcasts, that doesn’t keep me from laughing.
4:40 pm (about–at this point, I wasn’t watching the clock)– The Artemis actor comes onstage, too. I almost fall out of my chair. He’s even hotter in real life–if that’s possible. He and Eoin start bantering, and I understand it all because I’m one of the few people in the theater who had already read the book. Most of them had just gotten it, like, an hour ago. That long line was full of kids so intrigued by their books that they were in a zombie-like trance. Hey, if there was a Artemis-Fowl-induced zombie apocalypse, I’ll be their supreme dooming ruler. Muahaha.
Anyway. So I’m swooning (literally) and they’re bantering onstage, and then it’s time for the Q&A. I’m still sensitive about not being able to talk (with all my new exciting dental appliances on the roof of my mouth), plus I didn’t have any good questions to ask, so I just stayed seated.
The questions asked ranged from: “How many books are going to be in the series?” (Which you would KNOW if you went on his webpage, eight, you random kid), “W-w-w-w-w–er-ah… I didnnt, erm, I didn’t gett…. w-what h-happened to rsognp;erh?” (This was from a 3-yr old girl who was really, really nervous, Eoin Colfer confidently told the audience, “Don’t worry, I speak this” and figured out she wanted to know what had happened to Commander Root.
SPOILER if you haven’t read book 4
He then looked at the audience and whispered, “Ahh, she’s so cute, there’s only one thing to do. Lie.” So he preceeded to explain to the girl how Julius Root was on vacation, he’d taken a week off from LEPrecon but he’d be back Monday. She looked confused, Eoin told us, “Ahh!! She’s so cute! I can’t lie to that little face!” and then broke the news. “He’s dead,” Eoin said, almost wistfully. “He’s dead.”
The little girl nodded slowly and walked slowly away from the mic. Broke your heart. He’s dead.
RIP, Commander Root.
END OF SPOILER
Other questions~and answers:
“What’s your favorite book?”~ Eoin went on a seven-minute rant on how much he loved the Princess Bride, talked about the Rodents of Unusual Size, the romance, the fighting, the six-fingered man, how good the movie was, and just how if not everyone in the audience had read it, they had to snag themselves a copy. After which all the kid patiently explained, “Erm, I meant of the ones you wrote.” Eoin blushed and said that would have to be either Spud Murphy or Airman.
“What’s going on between you and Holly Short?” [to Artemis]~ “I don’t know how many times I have to say it, nothing is going on between me and Holly Short. She’s just a friend.” “Yes, but in the Time Paradox you guys kissed.” “Next question.”
[to Artemis] “Would you be, um, interested in dating anyone?” (YES this was a teen girl. Yes I gripped my seat in anticipation. Yes I may have let out a small squee. So sue me. His answer? ~ “Well, I’ve been pretty busy lately saving the world and all, but if I did ever want a girlfriend, she would have to be almost as smart as me *smirk*, interested in saving the world and such, and doesn’t care so much about who’s kissing who and what’s going on in Hollywood or wherever.”
DID YOU HEAR THAT?! Did you READ that, I mean?! Okay. Genius child *points to self* (just kiddin’ XD), vegetarian totally into ecofriendliness and stop-global-warming, and have you EVER heard me rant about who’s dating who in Hollywood? And how I rant. You would know if I felt that was worth ranting on.
This is how I know we’re meant to be together. Sweet young love.
“Artemis, what’s your middle name?” ~ Artemis cast a desperate glance over at Eoin, who couldn’t do anything, and so the actor turned to the 10-yr old boy by the mic and said, “Fowler.”
Eoin grimaced, looked at the actor, and turned back to the kid. “Yes, uh, Artemis Fowler Fowl.” (Another dirty glance at the actor.) “Artemis, I’m glad you remembered that, because I didn’t. But, er, yeah. His grandfather was a fowler, ironically enough, and that’s how they got the family name. He was named Artemis Fowler-Fowl after his grandfather.
__Okay, I’ve gotta rush for the bus, I’m making this a 2-part blog post, since this is REALLY long and I’ve gotta go…. Post the second half tomorrow or soon! Sorry for the delay, I’ve been mucho busy.__