Yup. Alright, so where I left off, I guess, Eoin Colfer had just finished the Q&A with Artemis Fowl and the audience. If you didn’t read the first part, there should be a link somewhere in the September files to your right…. ~~~>
So, after the Q&A, the presentation was pretty much over. Eoin hurried out, Artemis left, the lights came back on, and everyone in the theater pretty much filed out.
Thus was time for the book signing/photo opp.
Let me just start here by saying that this was not a “you’re in, out, five seconds” type thing. No, Eoin took about a minute or two with every kid.
And there were about two hundred kids there. You do the math.
So we were waiting there for about half an hour or forty five minutes in line. It was a freakin’ 109* in that lobby…. We were sweating soooo hard. And there were so many peopel crammed with us. Not. Fun. But I clutched my copies of the Atlantis Complex and Artemis Fowl: The Graphic Novel, and we waited in line. Mom and Dad got bored and went to go look at some SciFi merch up on the next floor…. Red and I amused ourselves by sprouting random lines from the books and such. Other people had brought D.S.’s and stuff. I was wishing for that foresight.
Aloha? Foresight? I know you’re chuckling right now.
So, anyllama, we stood in line for a looooong time… and it was hot. And there were lots of people. That pretty much sums the whole day up, but I know y’all would kill me if I just stopped there.
We FINALLY got to the front of the line. Eoin Colfer was sitting not two feet away. My hands were shaking as I handed him the letter I’d written him (pretty much thanking him for being so awesome, and telling him how much his books have inspired me to write, myself). Then I hand him both my books.
He signs them, and as he does, he says, “Are you a writer, too, then?”
And I said, “Y-yes, yeah, I am.” Thinking OHMYGOODNESSOHMYGOODNESS THIS ISNOT HAPPENING THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE OH MY GOODNESS.
He said, “That’s really great… It’s good to know that there’s another generation of writers out there.”
My brain: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then I say, “Yeah, I REALLY, REALLY love your books. They’re so fun to read.” (Notice my amazing vocabulary–really, love, fun. Heck, I’m lucky to have not lost all function of speech.)
He says, “Why, thank you. They’re fun to write.” !!!!!!!
Then my mom says, “Yeah, she loves your books so much…. This was her birthday present.”
Eoin says, “Wow, I’m flattered. Thank you.”
Me: “No, thank YOU.”
Then I get my picture with him and the next person in line gets their turn of epicness.
After that, I walked up to the actor who was paid to play Artemis.
He also did this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUYMc8PAG6w&feature=channel
TOTALLY HOT, RIGHT????!!!
So I go up to him, my hands are still shaking, I’m elated beyond belief. And I walk up and say, “Can I get my picture with you?”
He says sure, so I go right up and HUG him. Yeah, you heard me. HUGGED him.
Then Mom and Dad took about ten pictures (not really–two), and I grinned up at him. Then Mom says, “Isn’t there something you were going to ask him?”
So I smile and say to him, “Artemis Fowl, will you marry me?”
He looks a little disoriented. What, the guy should be used to this! He finally purses his lips and says, “I cannot answer that particular question at this particular time.”
Ah, eloquent. In true Artemis Fowl fashion.
Later I was asked what I would have done if he had said yes. Well, I would have eloped with him and moved back to Ireland with my uberhot Artemis.
But that’s beside the point.
Then I said a shaky, “Thanks, I appreciate it. No worries, I gave Eoin my email, so if you change your mind, you can get ahold of me.” (I’d put my email in the letter I gave Eoin, JIC, y’know?)
He smiled at me, I smiled back, and me, Mom, Dad, and Red left the building.
When we got outside, I looked inside my copies of my books. Eoin had written, “To —–, Happy Birthday. Fowl Wishes. ~Eoin Colfer.”
I cried with happiness.
And now I have two signed Artemis Fowl books, pictures with Eoin Colfer and Artemis Fowl, and the knowledge that if Artemis ever wants me, all he has to do is email.
There you have it. The perfect end to a perfect day.
I’m the nut.