Average is to be Celebrated

My Life is Average. The best website if you ever need a surefire way of putting off all your homework until 2am the morning it’s due.

Here are some of my favorites (If by some freak accident one happens to be yours, let me know and I’ll credit you. I just copy/pasted these off the site. Credit goes where credit belongs.)

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Today, I thought to myself, who ever came up with the word “word”, and how did they explain it to people what it meant? MLIA
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Today, i realized that when NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. MLIA.
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At the end of a math test there was extra space so I decided to write something. Me having a bad grade, I wrote ” If you don’t give me a 100%, I will call Chuck Norris”. Guest who got a hundred? Not me. I got sent to the office for threating a teacher with a deadly weapon. Mlia
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Today on the radio the DJ said, “Say no to drugs, because if you’re drugs are talking to you, you’ve probably had enough.” Very true. MLIA.
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Every time spell check tells me “Fragment sentence. Consider revising,” I always say in my head “No, spell check, YOU are a fragment sentence. Revise yourself, jerk”. MLIA

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Today I was playing around with love calculator and apparently Justin Bieber and Robert Patterson have a 99% compatibility. MLIA
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Today I found my best friend crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said she had learned that it’s illegal to sing off key in our state and didn’t want Justin Bieber to go to jail when he came on tour here. I love my best friend. MLIA
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Today, I heard the anonymous quote, “Don’t go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.” I completely prepared to live by this. MLIA.
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Last night, I dreamed I was at Hogwarts. Then, my mom woke me up. I’m still not speaking to her. MLIA.
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Today, I saw a group on facebook, “Who lives in a pinnapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Who died in an oil spill caused by BP?” I couldn’t stop laughing for 10 minutes. 🙂 MLIA

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Today, I wondered why Winnie the Pooh’s friends called him Pooh and not Winnie. MLIA
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Today in Spanish class, I got in trouble for laughing in English. I’m still confused. MLIA.
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Today, I was babysitting my younger neighbours. The brother had a clone trooper mask on that said, “All units fire at will.” The sister began fake shooting at him. He ran out if the room screaming, “But I’m not Will!” Made my day. MLIA
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Yesterday, I was listening to my sister’s Ipod and it was on shuffle. A girl started singing about another girl. Wanting to know when singers became this progressive, I went to ask my sister who was singing. When I asked my sister she started laughing. Who was this annoyingly high pitched girl? Justin Bieber. MLIA
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Today I had to go get an MRI scan for my knee. The guy running the scanner told me to lay extremely still so that he could get a good picture. Since I had to lay there for 30 minutes straight, he put on some music for me to listen to. The first song that came on was “Dare You To Move” by Switchfoot. MLIA
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Today, I joined a group on facebook that was called “I was mind-blown when I realized that OK looked like a sideways stick figure.” Then my friend joined a group called “I was even more mind-blown when I realized QK looked like a sideways ninja.” So true. MLIA
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Today I bought a bagel. The lady asked me if i wanted a receipt. I didn’t, but i took it anyway just in case someone was murdered at 2:33pm and I was a suspect. MLIA
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YOU JUST LOST THE GAME. ((Wait a second. For those of you faithful peasants who are ready to murder me, this was an actual entry on mylifeisaverage.com. Continue.))
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Today in math class, we were sitting there doing our work until all of a sudden the door opened and a kid rolled in, turned the lights off, and then the next thing we heard was the door closing. The teacher asked someone to turn on the lights, and when they did the kid was gone and something was posted under the door that said, “Remember to turn your lights off. -Science Club Ninjas.” Thank you for helping us save the environment, Science Club Ninjas. MLIA.
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Today, I was waiting at a bus stop. A girl wearing a North Face, Uggs, and leggings walked up and started complaining to me about how cold she was. I listened sympathetically for a few minutes, and then said in my most congenial voice, “I guess you should have worn pants then, huh?” MLIA
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Today in class, a cell phone went off with the old Power Rangers call tone. Without saying anything, four of us got up, none of us knowing the other, and walked out of the class. No one said a word. MLIA
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Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA
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Today, I realized that being healthy is just dying at the slowest rate possible. MLIA
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Alright, back to regularly scheduled posts soon. I’m too tired to write a legitimate entry tonight.
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“Some people are like slinkys– Useless, but fun to push down the stairs.”
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Tally-ho llama doom,
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AlohaFowl

About Aloha

A teen writer and future world ruler. Llamas make me happy.
This entry was posted in Misc. Posts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Average is to be Celebrated

  1. BushMaid says:

    Today, i realized that when NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. MLIA.
    *rolling on floor laughing* just wait till I tell my science head brother that! He will totally laugh!!

    *goes to check out this MLIA site she’s heard so much about*

  2. Mercy says:

    Ah, MLIA. The land of epicness. If you ever read one about someone waking up and licking their arm because it was asleep, that was me. I also submitted one of the many “Today, I read MLIA. MLIA” posts.

  3. Nia says:

    Today, I knew that all diehard HP fans screamed harder watching the previews for The Deathly Hallows pt 1. than anybody did seeing Edward or Jacob on screen…MLIA

    ^ I like that one. I know you didn’t post it, but whatever. 😛

  4. haha! I recognize the NASA pen one, it’s been told several times by various family members and I’m almost positive it’s true… this is me thinking back on one of those random lessons in school (History I think?) about this guy who sat in a tank of water in front of a store and wrote with the first ballpoint pen to prove that it would write underwater… yeah, I remember the weirdest things. Anyway, I love MLIA! I used to get on there all the time but then I realized that half my life was… no more than half my life was spent on there so I kind of stopped 😛

  5. BushMaid says:

    They are really funny… some are a bit off, but… it’s a shame they gotta have daggy ones alongside all the hilarious comments. :s

  6. Tigers Eyes says:

    *waves* Hi, it’s tiger from the Dhoha airport… where. I. am. stuck. for. 5. hours…
    DARN THESE FLIGHT DELAYS!
    >:\
    ANYWAYss…
    I love the NASA one, and the science ninja one. xD
    *goes back to trying to kill time*

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