“There are two things you need to know about the Human Eradication Forces. One, we set out to destroy all humans from the face of this planet. And two, that’s MY rabbit and I’m going to fight you for it!”
I understand the stresses of being a scriptwriter. But at some point you have to look back and see if the dialogue exposition is natural.
Hah, here’s another one:
“Simon! It’s over! We’re all going to die! Oh, nooooo!”
It’s not only stilted and NOT something you would shout out, but he wasn’t even in a life-or-death situation. He had one knife-wielding opponent while he was in the back of this uberepic robot warrior-machine doom-thing.
The one writing technique I AM learning from this show is the power of interior monologue or banter while writing an action scene. If two characters are just fighting, fighting, fighting, it’s going to get boring. There’s no wit. But even though in most real battles the people won’t really be bantering, per se, readers will tire of pages of combat unless there’s something else to occupy them.
Even if the dialogue goes “HUMAN FREAK!” “SCUM!” as both opponents are circling in their giant robot-doom-things.