In honor of Steve Carell leaving The Office (I know, it happened a long, long time ago), let’s take a walk down memory lane with some of Michael’s best (and cleanest) quotes.
|Michael Scott:||Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.|
|Michael Scott:||It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.|
|Stanley:||What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?|
Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me– no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.
Michael Scott: [screaming into the office] I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
|Michael Scott:||[after sipping wine] That is sort of an oaky afterbirth.|
|Jim Halpert:||What was that?|
Michael Scott: [on phone] Hey Pam, yeah, I forgot what day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally. I’ll be like three hours late.
|Michael Scott:||Who’s ahead in points?|
|Pam Beesly:||I think they’re even. At various times you gave Jim, 10 points, Dwight, a gold star and Stanley, a thumbs-up. And I don’t really know how to compare those units.|
|Michael Scott:||Well check to see if there’s a conversion chart in that notebook.|
|Pam Beesly:||I really doubt it Michael.|
|Michael Scott:||Please just check.|
Michael Scott: What happens to a company if you take the boss away. I will answer your question with a question. It’s like what happens to a chicken, when you take its head away. It dies. Unless you find a new head. I need to see which one of these people have the skills to be, a chicken head.
|Michael Scott:||Everybody in here stat. No time to lose. CRIMAN Squa F and C double time.|
|Dwight Schrute:||CRIMAN Squa?|
|Michael Scott:||Crisis management squad.|
|Ryan:||F and C, double time?|
|Michael Scott:||Front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?|
|Jim Halpert:||One more. Why are you talking like that?|
|Michael Scott:||To save time, Jim.|
Michael Scott: Mrs. Allen is our most important client. Because, every client is our most important client. Even though she’s a pretty unimportant client, really.