Just something that’s been on my mind a lot in the past week. My best friend could have very easily been killed the weekend before last when she and her family were hit by a drunk driver, leaving their car totaled but themselves unharmed. One of my mentors at church lost her husband unexpectedly to a heart attack, and I was there for the Taps at his memorial service. My mom and I listened to my riding instructor talk about the death of her friends’ kids, three and nine, when their parents weren’t home and they took the four-wheeler out on the road. One of my other best friends has been dealing with depression. In Biology we’ve been learning a lot about cancer and how many people it kills, bringing to mind my uncle who died of leukemia, only hours after learning he had it.
It’s probably the scariest thing that we live with, knowing that we’re going to die. Not just that, but that we have absolutely no control over when, where, why, with who, etc.
Sometimes the fear paralyzes me. We are so fragile.
If I didn’t have God, I’d be freaking the llama* out. If I didn’t know for absolutely certain what’s beyond the final breath, I don’t know what I’d do. As it is, that’s the only comfort we can have in this insane, precious, precarious, dangerously risky life. We might not have control over our lives, but Someone does. It makes me cry out of gratefulness that I don’t have to worry about the final destination, about getting hit by a car or drowning or falling off my horse or any of the million other ways you could die, right now.
Anyway. That’s what’s up.*insert whatever expletive you want here.