When I Rule the World

In light of yesterday’s uber-serious post, I thought I’d give you something more typical of me. It’s been a while since I updated my world domination plans, so here are a few new rules I plan to implement when I take over.

-My top research scientists will compile a handbook of internet memes that everyone in my domain must memorize. That way, whenever someone makes a really good joke about Llamas with Hats, Navi, or “I’ll take this [insert dramatic thing here] and eat it”, everyone will laugh.

This will either destroy nerd-hipster culture or improve it drastically. I’ll have my statisticians put together an analysis.

-Replace the buttons on crosswalk signs with these. Just for a day.

Burn recycle all textbooks. Install a Wikipedia and SparkNotes portal at every desk instead. (Thinking of the environment here!)

-Officially replace Justin Bieber with this kid. ❤

-Create a flag. Our emblem will be a llama wearing a bubble vest, eating cheesecake and watching YouTube.

Actually, I feel like I should design that.

-Abolish all final exams, especially ones right before Christmas.

And finally,

-Offer a $16,000 reward to anyone who can successfully complete PostADay and survive. They can use it to get psychological help.

**I’m totally stealing Mike’s thing**
 

Llama’d good finals quote of the day:

Me: Only one day of tests left! Then we have winter break! I kind of feel like we should be singing One Day More right now.
Mom: …..
Me: Actually, you’re right. That didn’t turn out so well.

About Aloha

A teen writer and future world ruler. Llamas make me happy.
This entry was posted in Llamas and Rambling and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to When I Rule the World

  1. You should sing One Day More at all times. It’s a great song.
    I like the list of dominating tasks. Very good!

  2. melsar93 says:

    But there are only 7 items on your list?

    • Aloha says:

      Heck no. These are just the most recent.

      If I actually compiled all my rules (written and unwritten)….. I’d probably have roughly eight hundred.

  3. Aloha's Mom says:

    Aloha, you make me laugh. How ’bout we split a piece of cheesecake when we’re done today? Or better yet. How ’bout we split a cheesecake? 🙂

    Mom

  4. thegreenhermione says:

    When I rule the world I’ll plant flowers!
    When I rule the world I’ll have SNAKES!
    And Jane Austen noveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels!
    🙂 Starkid.
    Also, I LOVE LES MIS! I just saw it live for the first time on Tuesday and now I’m pretty much obsessed with the soundtrack.

    • Aloha says:

      XD Now that we’re on break, I need to watch that whole thing again. Draco makes the ENTIRE musical.

      Les Mis is freaking epic ^.^ There’s nothing that makes me cry more, think more, feel so angsty for characters that don’t exist. The songs TOUCH EVERYONE. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

      • Aloha says:

        But I should add that the Voldy and co. subplot is also hilarious. I love that song– whatever it’s called– where they’re talking about world domination.

  5. Kirsten says:

    Aloha- are you participating in the Project For Awesome? Just wondering, because I was and I wanted to know whether to use all my power to make your video get to the top. Or try to, anyway.

    • Aloha says:

      Unfortunately no, not this year. I’d like to do it next year, though, when I have a bit more time.

      You are? That’s awesome! I’ll look for your video. It’s gonna be an exciting day 🙂

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