In light of yesterday’s uber-serious post, I thought I’d give you something more typical of me. It’s been a while since I updated my world domination plans, so here are a few new rules I plan to implement when I take over.
-My top research scientists will compile a handbook of internet memes that everyone in my domain must memorize. That way, whenever someone makes a really good joke about Llamas with Hats, Navi, or “I’ll take this [insert dramatic thing here] and eat it”, everyone will laugh.
This will either destroy nerd-hipster culture or improve it drastically. I’ll have my statisticians put together an analysis.
-Replace the buttons on crosswalk signs with these. Just for a day.
Burn recycle all textbooks. Install a Wikipedia and SparkNotes portal at every desk instead. (Thinking of the environment here!)
-Officially replace Justin Bieber with this kid. ❤
-Create a flag. Our emblem will be a llama wearing a bubble vest, eating cheesecake and watching YouTube.
Actually, I feel like I should design that.
-Abolish all final exams, especially ones right before Christmas.
-Offer a $16,000 reward to anyone who can successfully complete PostADay and survive. They can use it to get psychological help.**I’m totally stealing Mike’s thing**